Arria

Caecina Paetus,husband of Arria, was ill and her son was also ill, both of them very seriously it seemed. The son died, a very handsome young man and modest and dear to his parents. So Arria prepared the funeral for this boy and even lead the funeral procession so that her husband was not aware. Indeed whenever she entered his bedroom she pretended that their son was alive and was even getting stronger and to her husband asking often how the boy was doing, she replied, "He has slept well and willingly eaten some food", then when the tears that had been held back for a long time, overcame her and broke out she went out. Then she gave herself up to pain, having had her fill of tears with dried eyes and having composed her expression, she returned to the bedroom, as if she had left her bereavement outside.

It was indeed a very famous act of the same woman was to draw a dagger, to stab herself in the chest to pull out the dagger, offer it to her husband and add the immortal and nearly divine words, "Paetus, it doesn't hurt".

Scribonianus had taken up arms (war) against Claudius in Illyria. Paetus had been involved in the conspiracy and when Scribonianus was killed, he was dragged to Rome. He was about to get on board a ship, Arria begged the soldiers to put her on board at the same time "Surely",she said, "you can give a man of consular rank some slaves, from whose hands he will take food, who will dress him, who will put on his shoes? I alone will take care of all of these things". She did not get permission; so she hired a small fishing boat and followed the huge boat in a tiny one. Then in the presence of Claudius she said to the wife of Scribonianus, when she was volunteering evidence (against her husband's associates), "should I listen to you, in whose arms Scribonianus died and you live (on)?" From this it is clear that the plan to have a beautiful death was not sudden. Indeed, when Thrasea her son-in-law was begging her not to carry out her resolve to die, and among other things he had said "therefore would you want your daughter to die with me if it were to come about, that I had to die?". She replied "if she was to have lived for so long and in such great harmony with you as I have with Paetus. Then I would want (this)". With this answer she had increased the level of concern felt by her household (or the worry of her family). She was guarded even more carefully but she sensed this and said "you are not accomplishing anything. For you are able to ensure that I do not die painfully but you are not able to ensure that I do not die". While she said this she leapt out of her chair and dashed her head against the wall opposite with a huge force and collapsed. When she had been revived she said " however I told you, I would find a hard way to die, if you deny me an easy way". Farewell.